It’s a funny old game football, innit?
As a player Gary never sent off,
Never ever got a red card, never,
Some people have queered his pitch, he has NOW.

Unlike old club, Spurs, defence is solid,
Pundits and presenters hold strong backline,
There’s no Match Of The Day, no substitutes,
Political penalty shoot out sucks.

Where is V.A.R. when we need it most?
Clearly it’s a premeditated foul
Committed by an unqualified ref,
It’s handbags on BBC halfway line.

Whistle blows, Lineker United win
Morality Cup by a country mile.

Harry Rogers in the Red Bedroom, 11th March 2023.