HAIRCUT?

A haircut, I’m gonna have a haircut.
Talking Heads is open, appointment made.
Get up early, eat muesli, fruit, yoghurt,
Shower, drink tea, put on Black Pink Floyd tee,
Canadian woolen hat, best jacket,
The scarf from the V&A Jen bought me,
My phone is charged and I have my Facemask.
Out in the yard stands Citroen Picasso,
Reliable, our eight year old workhorse,
Never lets me down, always starts first time.
Turn key, engine starts, splutters, then stops.
Turn key again, but there’s nothing doing.
I call Green Flag, mechanic on their way.
Phone Talking Heads, cancel my appointment.
Open bonnet, Mechanic looks and says,
” I know what’s happened here, you’ve got a rat.”
He removes cover, reveals the fuel pump.
There’s a hole the size of a one pound coin
In the side of the black rubbery gland.
“It’s a common problem in modern cars,
Rodents are eating the rubber fuel lines.”
Loads my car on trailer, drives it away.
Dismayed I Google rodents and fuel lines.
Bam, up it comes, rodents eat car fuel lines.
In effort to go green makers moved from
Petro chemical plastic fuel lines
To soy based flexible tubing systems.
Turns out all rodents love to snack on soy.
A massive globalisation problem.
Rats, mice, and squirrels, make our cars go phut,
Nowhere near moment I get barnet cut.

Harry Rogers In the Red Bedroom, 3rd December 2020

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